What Do You Call Friends Who Love Math latest 2023

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‘Modern Family’ Is Messy (AKA It May Take a Village to Get a Kid to Therapy)

In today’s typical family, there is no “typical”. People who may have a non-traditional relationship with a child (i.e. not just the mother and father) may have good access and sensitivity to a child’s struggles or issues. These people can include close friends, in-laws, mentors, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches.

As the sitcom “Modern Family” shows, personal and relationship breakthroughs are achieved through access to truth and love from a variety of sources, including family members and friends of all kinds. Good data about a child can come from many sources and if you find yourself in the role of one of these “sources”, it becomes important to present your contribution in a constructive and credible way, whether you are talking to a parent or a guardian to consider therapy. for their child or to talk to a child about therapy.

In this article, I will cover these two very similar topics: 1. Approaching a friend with concerns about their child, and 2. As a parent or parent figure, bringing a child into therapy.

DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!

Telling a friend that you think their child needs therapy is a touchy subject. You run the risk of offending your friend and jeopardizing the relationship with parent and child, eliminating the possibility of helping in the future. You run the risk of being wrong: suppose the child is fine, but not your definition of fine? Suppose you are right and the child is receiving therapy and enjoying it. Guess what? You always run the risk of losing the relationship with parent and child. We’ve all heard and probably been touched by the term “don’t shoot the messenger”, haven’t we? Finally, if you deliver your message in a way that puts a friend already in denial even more defensive, the child you care about may be further removed from help.

For these reasons, it is important to approach the subject with caution. And yes, there is a “right” way – or at least predicatively a way that is more likely to turn out to be “right”. Overall, let the parent voice their concerns first, then voice yours. Don’t use labels or jargon, and don’t make black-and-white statements. Here are some specifics:

Tone: Unpretentious, non-judgmental, open and love-based. Examples:

1. I wonder if you noticed any differences between Archie and the other kids. [Pending parent response you might say something like:] I noticed some things about Archie that I thought I should share with you because I care about you both. I don’t know if there is a problem, but something seems different to me than what I have seen in other children.

2. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I wanted to share something I noticed about Archie in case you might have noticed too, but weren’t sure it just be your perception. He looks really angry [sad, lost, lonely, frustrated] most of the time.

Content: share concerns, observations; share examples of child strengths and parent strengths. Examples:

1. I noticed that Archie went from interesting and engaging to withdrawn and brooding. You are so loving and such a good parent to him. I wonder if you noticed that.

2. I’ve noticed Archie’s anger for a while and it seems like he’s having trouble dealing with day-to-day situations.

Recommendations: love-based, help-based. Examples:

1. I hate to see you and Archie in trouble. I know there are good therapists out there who can identify a problem, help normalize it, and then fix it. I don’t want to see people I love suffer when I know there is help available. If nothing else, trying a therapist seems like a good opportunity to rule out anything out of the ordinary.

2. I hope you will consider seeing a therapist with Archie to figure this out. So many children benefit from being exposed to ideas and resources that help them improve their life skills and necessary coping behaviors.

3. Whatever you decide, I want to be a part of your and Archie’s life for a long time. I trust your judgement.

NO SHAME IN LEARNING

A related issue is the parent/guardian who wants their son/daughter to feel comfortable seeing a therapist. Again, addressing this in the right way with your child can mean a strong, positive relationship with a professional whose goal is to help your child. In general, it is important to be loving, open, to express the private nature of therapy, and to communicate that the therapist can help other family members who need help – that it is not only the child who has a problem. Here are some guidelines for talking with your child about psychological therapy:

Tone: helpful, compassionate, empathetic. Examples:

1. I struggled with it [sadness, frustration, anger] and many other people too. I think I know someone who can help us both because he has helped many other people with the same kind of problems.

2. You seemed quite [sad, frustrated, angry, lonely] lately and I think there is a way for us to get help and that doesn’t involve having to tell people outside of our family.

Content: positioning the therapist as an expert. Position therapy as education. No one is broken, nothing needs fixing. Examples:

1. Just as your math teacher teaches you how to add and subtract so you can feel confident when you have money and pay for something in a store, a therapist teaches us about feelings so we can being comfortable with our feelings when they arise and when dealing with other people. Just as once we learn math we will know the correct answer to a math problem, once we learn our feelings we will know the correct answer to solve problems within ourselves.

2. We go to school to learn things that help us understand how the world works. We go to a therapist to understand how our feelings work. When we learn to read, we can discover anything by opening a book. When we learn to “read” our feelings, we can understand what is happening to us inside.

3. We all learn different things at different times depending on what is happening in our lives. If you lived in China for a year, you would want to learn Chinese and understand the customs. A Chinese teacher could help you. In the same way, if something important happens that affects our feelings [death, divorce, new school, bullying] we can learn to understand these feelings. Once we understand them, we will know what is right for us. A therapist teaches us how to do this.

4. Each of us has different challenges at different times. We all have them, but we tend not to share them too much, so if we have a big feeling, we may think we’re the only ones who have it. Some of us struggle with anger, some with shyness, some with bad habits, some with sadness, some with learning differences. Just as we get help with spelling if we have trouble, we get help from a feelings teacher if we have trouble with feelings, or help from a love teacher. friendship if we have problems with friendship. Some therapists teach friendship, some teach feelings, some teach speaking and reading. But we all need teachers.

Recommendations: Be open, exploratory, empowering. Examples:

1. As your [parent/guardian] it’s my job to help you learn the things you need to know to be happy now and when you grow up – having lots of choices when you’re an adult about what you want to be, where you want to live, what kind of friends you want to have. So I’m taking you to the school where the teachers teach you a lot of different things and now is a good time to go see a feelings teacher – a therapist – to learn more about feelings.

2. Just as you love some teachers more than others, you can love one therapist more than another. The good thing about a therapist is that YOU can choose. Do you know that you usually can’t change your third-grade teacher for someone else just because you don’t like her, she’s too strict, she gives too much homework? Well, if you like your therapist, you learn more from them, and if you don’t like them, you find another therapist, the one that makes you feel good. And everything you talk about with your therapist is private between the two of you.

Finally, know that as a concerned friend or concerned relative, saying something is ALWAYS better than saying nothing. If you need help talking to a friend about their child or if you need help talking to your child about therapy, I can help. In the “modern family” there are many options. There is ALWAYS hope and there is ALWAYS a way. I help my clients find THEIR.

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