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College Bound – Protecting Our Daughters – The 4 A’s of Self Defense

As babies, we cradled them in our arms when they were babies. We hugged them, nurtured them, supervised them, encouraged them, supported them, loved them as they grew and matured and…protected them. As loving parents, protecting our children is not only our responsibility, it is our passion. But how do we protect them when we are physically separated from them and they from us?

How do we keep them safe in a world that grows crazier, crazier, more unstable and more dangerous by the day, aka the Georgia Tech massacre on April 16, 2007 in which thirty-three people died, for the most students, a gruesome heart-wrenching event claiming the unwelcome title of the deadliest mass shooting in modern US history? Even when our little girls are accomplished and mature women, even mothers, they will always be our children and our hearts can never be separated from the anguish to protect them and keep them safe and away from Harm.

I remember when my two daughters went to college. It was a transformative experience. All adults, leaving home and ready to take on the world, they were even more vulnerable than they thought, but I knew that despite their comforting parting words: “Don’t worry, Dad. It’ll be OK. “As parents, ‘okay’ is what we pray for.

Here are some sobering thoughts from OnlineLawyerSource.com:

1. “Statistics on sexual assault, including female students, have been the subject of various studies. In a 1988 national study of 32 college campuses, one in four male students was the victim of rape or attempted rape . Some studies have suggested sexual assault statistics among college students are so high due to the role of alcohol and drugs. Many women think that reporting a sexual assault on someone if they were drunk or intoxicated can’t happen, but that’s not fair. Sexual assault is a violation, and being intoxicated does not mean the law no longer applies.

2. “Sexual assault statistics show that 17% of reported cases against women resulted in injured victims. Sexual assault statistics from the National Victims Center and the Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center from 1992 reported that 80% of sexual assault survivors knew their attacker at least by sight.The impact left by sexual assault can be physically, psychologically and emotionally damaging, and denial is particularly strong among victims who knew their attackers. “

So how do we protect our children, especially our daughters, while they are in college and away from home, helping to ensure their peace of mind as well as our own? One way is to give them a female self-defense workshop as a gift. The chances of our daughters being attacked, assaulted, and potentially raped are higher when they are alone, perhaps walking to their dorm at night, shopping, or even studying in a secluded library. There will be times when they will be alone…and potentially vulnerable.

Vulnerable, that is to say if he has no skills to defend himself. The reality is that women who retaliate during an assault have a better chance of survival than those who do not retaliate. Predators prey on the weak, not the strong. Faced with a formidable adversary, the predators move on to other prey, weaker prey. Giving our daughters the gift of empowerment through women’s self-defense classes helps them protect themselves when we can’t. After all, when our children become adults, it is their responsibility to protect themselves. Having them study martial arts or take a self-defense workshop (perhaps with mom) designed especially for women is one way to help them help themselves. It is also a means by which we, as loving parents, can help keep our beloved children and daughters safe, especially when they are in college.

The 4 A’s of self-defense

As a professional martial arts instructor and owner of my own karate studio for over thirty years, here are some valuable tips that can help anyone protect their life:

Having the right mindset is essential for survival. We call it the 4 A’s of self-defense.

1.Awareness. Don’t be suspicious, be aware. Awareness is key no matter where you are. It is also important to know who is watching you? Whether you are in a grocery store, gas station, department store, park, anywhere, always be aware of your surroundings. It’s your first line of defense.

2. Attitude – To survive, you must have a survival attitude, having previously made the choice to fight to survive and not simply to acquiesce to the demands of your attacker. Be like the sun – life gives its warmth but burns if someone gets too close. Another analogy is being like a lioness – loving her cubs unless someone tries to harm them and how vicious an adversary she becomes. Also, keep in mind that you are not a victim. Your attacker is the victim. Launch the Assault Coin. Attack your attacker. Finally, you must have an undying will to survive. If your opponent’s will to harm you is stronger than your desire to live or stay safe, your chances of victory are not good. In an attack situation, your will to survive trumps everything else.

3. Assault – Being passive during a physical assault is a recipe for being assaulted or worse. In the first, non-physical part of a potential situation, passivity may be necessary, but if the action becomes physical, fighting – and being aggressive in combat – is the medicine for survival. The famous General George Patton said, “In war, the only real defense is attack.”

He was absolutely right. From my professional perspective and tens of thousands of hours of teaching self defense over all my decades of teaching, your chances of victory are much better when you attack. You have more options and virtually an infinite number of abilities. However, a defensive posture is limited and the potentials for defeat are increased because by being defensive we become reactive and action is always faster than reaction. Therefore, we must be very proactive and aggressive if we choose to survive physical assault.

4. Insight – These are the defense skills which include finger punches, stabs and claws in the eyes of your opponent; palm strikes to the eyes or face, especially using double palm strikes under the chin; knee strikes or kicks to the groin or knees. Taking a self-defense course at a local, reputable self-defense studio will be of great help to you.

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