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As a gifted child, I can certainly write what it’s like to be different from others. I graduated from high school – with what was called a university degree – and entered university – at the age of fifteen.
I definitely didn’t belong there. The only reason I was able to finish high school at this age is because I have an older sister. His friends accepted me. Otherwise, I had very few friends in my class. I was two to three years younger than any of them. It didn’t hurt that I was considered very pretty. Otherwise, I would have been an outsider, a friendless geek, no one to “talk to”, no one to socialize with. I probably would have become a high school dropout.
Because I was a medium (unknown term at the time), people were also a little scared of me. I was able to read their thoughts and emotions. Now combine all of that, a medium who reads thoughts and emotions, a very intelligent person, and someone who was years younger than his peers.
Why am I writing all this? Because more children are being born with these abilities and unless parents and teachers understand what these children are feeling and going through, we will have more suicides and more school shootings. These children need to be understood and helped to understand why they are different and why they have gifts. Yes, these abilities are gifts, and too many people think they are more like curses. Every child wants to be accepted. It’s the nature of the species – to be accepted into a social community.
Every teenager – gifted or not – feels different and inferior in some way to all other teenagers. Let the reader remember his own teenage years. Let the reader remember how he felt different and not accepted by others. Very, very few teenagers are part of the “popular” group. Even those who are considered popular have their own insecurities. I see this in my granddaughter. She’s beautiful, and I don’t say that like her grandmother. She’s popular, but still doesn’t feel safe. She doesn’t know if people like her for herself or for her looks. She is also very sensitive. If someone says something negative to her, she cries and wonders why that person doesn’t like her.
Gifted children have friends in their own age group. Once accelerated, these friends are left behind and they must find new ones. It is not easy. The more they are accelerated to higher ranks, the harder it is to find friends. Boys have it harder than girls, even though girls don’t have it easy.
I was lucky in respect to have had good teachers. My teachers cared about their students, all of them. Now things are a bit different. Teachers are afraid of their students. I think of one teacher in particular and I sincerely hope that she is the exception.
This teacher thinks that some children are born bad. She also believes that any child who commits a crime should go to jail. If the crime was committed when that child was nine years old or older, that child should go to an adult prison. Yes, she advocates sending a nine-year-old to adult prison. Now imagine if this teacher had a gifted student in her class. The gifted student would automatically be marked different from the rest of the class. Would she be able to help this student find something interesting, or would she automatically see this student as a troublemaker and label him as – belongs in prison?
Because a child is gifted, the parent usually pushes that child to speed up more. The parent expects the child to realize his or her potential. Sometimes the parent pushes the child too hard. Every kid needs a little breathing room and expecting a gifted kid to get a straight “a” puts way too much pressure on that kid.
A gifted child will not automatically grasp all topics. It also depends on how the child is brought up. My IQ was tested and I had a 168. That’s pretty high. An IQ simply means how well that person grasps concepts. I couldn’t grasp the concept behind chemistry although I did very well in math.
The only reason I mention this is because we all have different materials that we accelerate into. Do not expect a gifted child to be able to accelerate in all the subjects taught. I know a mother who told her daughters that math was too hard for girls to understand. She also told her children that the moon was a planet, but that’s not the point. Because she kept saying that math was too hard for girls, her very smart daughters had a hard time understanding math. The tutors did not help them. Until they understood that their problem came from what their mother had instilled in them since their childhood, they had problems in mathematics. Once they realized where the problem was coming from, they started to speed up.
Once you tell a child he can’t understand something, he won’t automatically understand it. Once a child is pushed too hard to accelerate, he (or she) will automatically fail. Once a child, any child, is neglected or ignored by a parent, that child will rebel against everything and everyone. Once gifted children are rejected, this insecurity will stay with them for life.
Accept our children for who they are. If they excel at something, great. If they don’t, find out why. Children are not born stupid. They just know less than adults because adults have been around much longer and have learned more. Every child is precious. Every child has a remarkable ability in something. Help this child find it. Encourage – don’t discourage – every child to realize their true potential.
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