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Celebrity Survivor: The Key to Unlocking the Mysteries of Reality Television

Reality TV is pushed down the throat of every American viewer, every day forsaken by God. And yet, we continue to watch with smiling, unflinching truthfulness. Is it because we are stupid? Well, yes, probably. But there’s another, much easier-to-swallow explanation for our life-changing reality TV addiction: In general, we like all people. Now, this may seem obvious to some and completely ridiculous to others (those who actively hate people, like my tenth-grade math teacher), but it’s basically true. As humans, we most identify with other real humans. And, on reality shows like Survivor, there’s no denying that the contestants are real, living humans. Now that reality TV has seeped into what was once the universally fictional land of television, viewers are now stuck. We can’t go back and we (probably) never will.

The reason we all crave human interaction (as opposed to scripted interaction) these days is that where scripted characters have become predictable, humans are uniquely unpredictable. On scripted dramas, the good guy wins 99.9% of the time. In reality shows, the bad guy wins, the nice guy wins, the hot girl wins, the gay guy wins, and sometimes even the really boring person wins; just watch Survivor. We never know.

With that in mind, I had an idea: What if (and I admit it’s a pretty far-fetched assumption) CBS created a celebrity season of Survivor, but with all the famous actors playing versions of their character from most famous screen. Now, I wouldn’t expect a flawless method of action. The strategic decisions they make in-game would not have to be made by “their character”. However, they should interact as their “character” with others as well as with the camera.

This survivor would create a far more illuminating sociological experience than this year’s racially segregated version; it would challenge our motivations for watching reality TV, cast doubt on any notion that contestants on reality TV shows are “real”, and possibly shatter my (admittedly weak) thesis in the first paragraph. If the Survivors we know “act” end up being just as engaging or (gasp) even more so than normal people, what does that say about previous incarnations of Survivor (or any other reality show)? Although (as evidenced by the first paragraph) I would like to believe that we humans are shrewd in our enjoyment of reality television, it is possible that we are being manipulated a lot more than expected.

I believe we all enjoy watching human interaction and conflict, but what happens when we know it’s not (completely) real? I guess we know now; everyone agrees that the shows are creatively edited. However, we still like to think that people are essentially real and therefore their interactions, opinions and decisions are entirely theirs. What happens when this is, outwardly, not the case? Through the prism of made-up characters played by well-known celebrities, how would any conflict that arises be consumed by the viewing public? If we were to enjoy this quasi-fictional conflict as much as the typical survivor conflict, does that mean the realism of reality TV is not only overrated, but unnecessary?

If Celebrity Survivor became the way I envision it (which it never will), it would help us a lot to understand why we love reality TV. Is it just drama packaged in a new and exciting way? Or does the fact that the people are real really add to the enjoyment and sense of connection for viewers?

I still can’t decide if reality TV is good or bad for us, but until then I’ll keep watching Survivor and supporting the villain.

-Oscar Dahl/Buddy TV

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