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Spotlight Eating Disorders, Perfectionism & Body Image On College Campuses
Campus Calm had the opportunity to speak with Courtney E. Martin about perfectionism, body image, and the countless number of young women who suffer from eating disorders today. Martin is the author of the new book Perfect Girls, Hungry Girls: The Scary New Normal Of Hating Your Body.
Quiet Campus: Give us an overview of who the Perfect Girls and Starving Daughters are and what they stand for?
Courtney: The perfect girl is that part of most women I know, there’s never enough of them. There is never enough success, they are never thin enough, never enough attention. There is this craving for perfectionism in all facets of our lives. The advantage is that we are very achievement-oriented. We’ve taken the feminist legacy that we’ve inherited and done some pretty amazing things with it.
The downside is the hungry girl piece, which is that ugly underbelly of all this accomplishment. Striving for this impossible perfection creates some truly unhealthy emotions. The hungry girl is actually a pretty wise part of us. This is the part that says, “I’m exhausted, slow down.” Unfortunately, because we have this dichotomy of this perfectionist side, we often lock the hungry girl inside of us and stop listening to her. We become these perfect, robotic, high-performing girls. The perfect girl and the hungry girl have a lot to teach us. Instead, they end up being in this tussle and unfortunately the body is the victim in the middle.
Quiet Campus: You wrote, “We are a generation of young women who were told we could do anything and instead heard we had to be everything.” What does the feeling that you have to be everything personally mean to you?
Courtney: Perfection was something I forced myself to do. Some parents push their children very hard. My parents don’t. But, they were both very successful. My mother in particular was doing nine million things, kind of the center of her community and really brilliant. I watched it and it inspired me, which is the positive side. But it also gave me this anxiety of wanting to be everything for everyone. I wanted to be athletic but also smart, and of course, be pretty and talk to the quarterback on the football team. So it became this self-imposed idea of having it all.
It also comes from privilege. It is certainly also a question of class. I was raised by parents who took me to art classes and paid me to go to summer camp. I was constantly exposed to all of these incredible things in life and was told that I was very special, as were so many children of our generation. The great thing was that I had so many amazing opportunities, but it also created this seed of anxiety that flourished with college admissions.
So many teenagers think they have to do everything because if their college resume isn’t perfect, then “I won’t go to school and my whole life will be over.” It just creates such anxiety.
Quiet Campus: Where is the line between wanting excellence and wanting perfection?
Courtney: It’s them question. For me, it’s something that you have to constantly negotiate. Part of that might be knowing when to let go of a certain level of excellence. Trying to be great at the things you love while giving up being great at everything is a pretty healthy thing.
Quiet Campus: You wrote that “Many women have normalized food and fitness obsessions and collectively accept that it’s part of being a woman to count calories or feel guilty after every ice cream cone.” Do we first have to recognize that this is part of the problem before we can begin to change anything?
Courtney: I think women have to be really honest with themselves. If you’re unhappy with your relationship with food or fitness, that’s a problem. You don’t need to be hospitalized or have a serious eating disorder. If you don’t feel able to make choices and you’re happy about it, that’s a real problem. Even the simple act of coming to terms with your own body image could change the whole world if enough women did it.
Quiet Campus: Can you explain why obsessions with food and fitness are so prevalent on college campuses?
Courtney: First of all, women outnumber men on college campuses by two million and it’s growing every year. We are the majority of people on campus and we are also the majority of people with eating disorders. Especially when I was coming into adulthood, college was people’s first experience with dieting, becoming obsessed with fitness, or eating weird. It’s your first time alone and it’s a difficult transition. Maybe you’re in a new place and maybe you’re homesick, or you have a really bad roommate. It all comes together and creates a really dangerous time for a lot of women. I knew girls who had eating disorders in high school but it was really only in college that I was completely surrounded by them.
Quiet Campus: Has your school addressed the issue?
Courtney: There has definitely been an awareness. There was an eating disorder support group, but I didn’t know anyone who went there. I think campuses are trying, but I don’t think a health center can do much. I think it’s more about transforming the peer culture than bringing it from the health center.
Quiet Campus: What are the implications of the eating disorder epidemic in our culture?
Courtney: It’s something that’s passed down from generation to generation. Many of us have observed mothers who unknowingly had food orders or were diagnosed with eating disorders or really hated their bodies.
Then there are all these economic implications. It could cost up to $35,000 per month to visit an eating disorder clinic. Health insurance companies don’t cover them once you are what they consider a healthy body mass index. So we have parents who go into debt trying to help their daughters. Not to mention the $30 billion a year diet industry and the $26 billion cosmetic surgery industry.
Then we have these very scary physical implications. A lot of infertility is actually the direct result of eating disorders, which many people don’t know. Globally, the more we obsess over these things, the less we devote our energies to enjoying life and changing the world. Who knows what loss we have suffered just based on how much energy, time and passion we have diverted into this ridiculous focus on the body.
Quiet Campus: How does this relate to the obesity epidemic?
Courtney: I think it’s really two sides of the same coin. I think it’s about Americans not being able to channel that middle way of eating when we’re hungry and stopping when we’re full. Eat whole foods, move in a way that makes us happy.
We are a kind of bulimic culture. We eat and eat all these super sugary artificial fake foods. On the other hand, we totally punish ourselves and deprive ourselves of the pleasure of eating.
Quiet Campus: At the end of the day, if you say, “I was good today because I ate this and I didn’t eat that,” that sounds so fucked up.
Courtney: Yeah, that’s totally awful. We should go to bed and say, “How present have I been today? How nice have I been? How many people have I actually talked to or listened to openly? »
Quiet Campus: And they are bright, ambitious young women.
Courtney: With great values. This is another thing. It’s not like we’re all morons. If you ask these women if they value kindness or thinness more in other people, they’ll say, “Kindness, of course. But they cannot afford this gift.
Quiet Campus: You wrote: “In this culture of female bodies plastered on billboards, appearing on computer screens, selling every product imaginable, we are all learning the lesson that beauty is the most universal symbol of success. .” How do young women and young men reject what we have been conditioned to believe is the ultimate model of success?
Courtney: I think it’s just a daily battle to interrogate this message. It takes a lot of persistence to constantly reiterate your own view of the world as opposed to the rest of the world. I think we should each define what is beautiful. I love this exercise of being on a subway train and watching everyone and seeing what beautiful creatures they are. There’s so much beauty in the world and it’s not about the perfect, slim, size one, platinum blonde woman. The more people you can surround yourself with who feel that way and talk that way, the better.
Quiet Campus: As a young woman wonders whether or not she should put on a swimsuit this summer and join her friends at the beach, do you have any advice for her?
Courtney: I say, try if you can to turn that cynical voice into a more loving voice. So even if you’re not feeling fabulous, say something like, “Okay, that sucks. I don’t feel well, but I also know that I’m a beautiful person and I don’t want to miss out on experiences. because I’m having a bad physical day. It will be better tomorrow, I just need to ride this wave.
It’s really just letting go a bit and not trying to force yourself to feel perfect in your body because that becomes part of perfectionism. It’s just about accepting yourself where you are and not letting those self-critical things get in the way of you enjoying your life.
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