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The Ultimate Collection of Engineering Jokes

Although you can’t tell when speaking with one, most engineers tend to have a wonderful sense of humor. In an effort to dispel one of the oldest myths about engineers, we’ve put together the following set of engineering jokes. We hope you find them as humorous as we do 🙂

Three metallic spheres

The local university recently decided to test its professors. Three metal spheres were placed on a table and the teachers were asked to do whatever they wanted with them. Each teacher had one hour alone in the room with the three metal spheres. After an hour, the math teacher emerges and the balls are arranged in a triangle shape. Then, the physics professor comes out of his room; bales are stacked on top of each other. Finally, the engineering professor comes out of his room. One ball is broken, one ball is missing, and he carries the third in his lunch box.

Defective windows

Three engineers drive a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a software engineer. The car stops and they park on the shoulder of the road to inspect it. The electrical engineer suggests that they take the car’s electronics apart to try to determine where a fault may have occurred. The chemical engineer suspects the fuel is becoming emulsified and suggests focusing on the fuel system. The software engineer suggests closing all windows, exiting, returning, and reopening all windows to see if that helps.

The retired engineer

After 30 years of good and loyal service, Jean the Engineer is retiring from his business. Several years later, the company was having trouble troubleshooting one of its new multimillion-dollar machines. No one on staff could figure out the problem, so they contacted John the engineer. John spent the next day studying the machine. At the end of the day, he marked a particular component with a small “x” in chalk. The part was replaced and the machine immediately started working again. Shortly after, the company received a bill for $75,000. After asking for an itemized invoice, John the engineer replied as follows: 1 chalk mark – $1.00, knowing where to put it – $74,999.00

The Lost Balloonist

A man flies in a hot air balloon, but realizes he is lost. He spots another man downstairs and lowers his balloon to ask for directions. ” Excuse me sir. I was wondering if you could help me? I’m lost and was supposed to find a friend half an hour ago. The man on the ground says: balloon. You are hovering at about 30 feet, and you are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 59 degrees west longitude.” “You must be an engineer,” replies the man in the balloon. “In indeed, I am,” says the man on the ground. ” How did you know ? The balloonist said, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but I’m still completely lost.” The man on the ground says, “Hmmm, a manager.” To which, the balloonist asks, “How did you know?” The engineer replies, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You made a promise you can’t keep and expect me to fix your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow it’s all my fault.”

The human body

Three engineering students sit around talking about who might have designed the human body. “It must have been a mechanical engineer,” says the first student. “The human body has all kinds of levers, pivots and other things. Only a mechanical engineer would have designed all of this.” The second student responds, “No, it must have been an electrical engineer. Think about the intricate way the nervous system is connected to the brain.” The third student replies, “No way, guys. The human body was definitely designed by a civil engineer. Who else would have run a sewage pipe through the recreation area?”

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